The Recruiter-Candidate Relationship: What It's Like Setting Up a Close Friend

I've been in agency recruiting for over four years. And every time I open LinkedIn, I see the same pattern: candidates frustrated about being ghosted, recruiters venting about candidates who go quiet. Most of these breakdowns come down to one thing: unspoken, misaligned expectations on both sides.

Here's what I wish more potential candidates understood: my clients, not my candidates, are my customers. By the time a company partners with us, the role has often been open for a while, or it's a niche, hard-to-fill position. On a busy day, I can conduct up to ten 30-minute video interviews, all for specific roles with specific requirements. I get fast at knowing, often within seconds of scanning a profile, whether someone is the right fit.

The best way I can describe it? Think of me as a friend who's been asked to set up a close friend (my client) with the right person. You, the candidate, are the potential match. And just like in real life, how you show up matters.

Introduce Yourself — Don't Just Show Up

Every day, I get LinkedIn messages from people with no profile photo, no resume, and no mention of a specific role. They just want to meet.

Imagine someone walks up to you at a party, doesn't introduce themselves, and immediately asks to be set up with your best friend. You wouldn't do it. Neither would I.

If you reach out to a recruiter, give us something to work with. Send your resume. Reference a specific role you saw posted. Tell us why you'd be a great fit. In other words, who are you, and why would you click with my friend?

I'm Paying Attention to Everything

Recruiter screens aren't high-stakes interrogations. They should feel like a candid, low-pressure conversation. But make no mistake: you're making an impression, often in just 30 minutes.

I conduct all my screens on video. Would you set your close friend up with someone you'd never actually seen? Neither would I. The small things matter: Are you on time? Have you tested your tech? Do you have at least one question about the role?

Vague answers matter too. If I asked a potential match about their last relationship and they dodged the question, I'd hesitate to make the introduction. The same goes when candidates are unclear about why they left their last job, whether they're currently employed, or what their timeline looks like. Clarity builds trust — and trust is what gets you introduced to my friend.

Don't Go Cold After the First Date

Let's say the introduction has been made. You and my friend had coffee — it went well, you both seemed excited. Before the date, I told you what they'd need afterward: a quick message saying you had a good time, openness to a second date, and prompt responses to their texts.

And then nothing. You go quiet. Their messages sit on read.

This happens more than it should. A candidate has a great first interview and then takes three days to respond about next steps. To a hiring team, that signals disinterest — or worse, unreliability. It can cost you the offer. And honestly? It means I'm probably not calling you for the next opportunity, either.

If you're excited about a role, stay present through the process.

The Bottom Line

The next time you're working with a recruiter, ask yourself: if a trusted friend offered to set me up with someone they love and respect, how would I show up? You'd probably bring your best self, communicate clearly, and follow through without being asked twice.

The same goes for working with a recruiter.

Heather Petropoulos is a Creative Engineering Recruiter for Artisan Talent. She has been in agency and internal hiring (for retail teams) for two decades, starting in software engineering and technology recruiting. 

Her specialty is building transparent relationships with candidates. She loves meeting people where they are in their career path and having even the smallest positive impact on their next steps. As a curious empath, she loves learning what really makes someone tick and how she can advocate for them in an evolving job market. What motivates her most is creating more humanity and connection in the hiring process.

This series, Recruiter Real Talk, is Heather's unfiltered look at the hiring process from the inside: what recruiters actually see, think, and wish they could say out loud.